We've moved!!

Exciting alert. Trash Lounge has moved to:

www.trashlounge.co.uk

See you there!

'It's probably a grower'

Miley Cyrus is releasing an EP 'across the pond' very soon, and she performed the lead single - 'Party In The USA' - at the Nickelodeon Teen Choice Awards at the weekend.

If you're hoping for something to match the genius of "My best friend Lesley said 'Oh, she's just being Miley'" then the good news is that "...And the Jay-Z song was on! And the Jay-Z song was on! And the Jay-Z song was on!", and "...And the Britney song was on!" etc does come quite close. WELL THANK GOD FOR THAT. How postmodern.

On to a winner

Earlier today I blabbed on about the genius-ness of Sophie/Dogface, and mentioned how she is second favourite to win behind Siavash. WRONG.

She is now (marginally) favourite to win Big Brother according to the latest odds from bookmakers, so says this screen capture from betting comparison site BestBetting.

If you look at the exact odds for each housemate it's extremely tight between the top four... the top five in some instances... and Sophie isn't the universal favourite across all bookmakers, BUT this is a very encouraging sign and, even though the likelihood of things staying this way is ridiculously small, at least she was favourite at some point.

DOGFACE TO WIN.

(Gutted Bea)

EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN

Kelly Clarkson is getting lairy again because 'Already Gone' (amazing) is going to be the third single released from the All I Ever Wanted album.

'The story goes':

- Clarkson... we'll call her Kelly... claims to have worked on her Ryan Tedder collaborations during 2008, before the release of I Am... Sasha Fierce, the latest offering from Beyoncé. Beyoncé's album was released and on it was the glorious Tedder-penned 'Halo', rumoured to be originally for Leona Lewis, cue Simon Cowell waterworks blablabla.. separate story entirely.

- Reports vary, but a general jist floating around is that Kelly told interviewers on a Canadian something-or-other that upon hearing 'Halo' she fought to get 'Already Gone' removed from the tracklisting for All I Ever Wanted, because the songs sound remarkably similar and she knew that people would accuse her of stealing Beyoncé's sound.

- The New York Something (making notes when researching these things gets tedious, you'll understand) then reports that upon hearing the record label's plans to release 'Already Gone' as an actual single, Kelly kicked up a fuss and asked for something else (apparently 'Cry') to be released instead. Alas, Operation 'Already Gone' is going ahead as planned.

- Ryan Tedder has responded by saying he finds such comments "hurtful and absurd", and that... tada... 'Already Gone' is his favourite creation since 'Bleeding Love'. He noted that Kelly Clarkson is one of the most talented vocalists in the world etc etc, Beyoncé is awesome too etc etc... basically he was Very Nice About It and didn't throw all his toys out the pram. Ryan Tedder can therefore be assumed to be some form of hybrid Musical Genius and Very Nice Person. What a legend.

'The thing is':

- 'Already Gone' is BRILLIANT.

- Yes, it does sound alot like 'Halo', but then so does every other Ryan Tedder power ballad of recent times. Line both of them up with 'Battlefield' and 'Bleeding Love' and you realise that, brilliant as he is, Tedder likes to stick to what he knows. ALL OF HIS SONGS SOUND SIMILAR.

- 'Already Gone' makes a much better choice of single than 'Cry'.

- But given the fact that 'I Do Not Hook Up' stalled at No35 here and scraped the Top 20 in the US, there's a strong chance that any new single will tank.

- ... So really, when you think about it, this great big fuss is probably big publicity.

- ... So really, everybody wins.

While we're on it, the video for 'Already Gone' premiered a couple of weeks ago and appears, like some form of twisted magic, below. It's nice and glamorous and the soft focus shots give it a Certain Something. The string instruments playing themselves are a bit hilarious but other than that, the video lands somewhere between the YAYAH of 'My Life Would Suck Without You' and the MEH of 'I Do Not Hook Up'.

Also, owners of the original nearly-five-minute-long album cut will note that for the radio edit, instead of making a few clever and subtle cuts, they have simply sliced off the last minute or so and ended the song at the end of the middle-8. A bit silly.

Big Brother: Let's update the 'sitch'

- It is very good news that Dogface's popularity has improved, especially after Friday's scene in which she seductively said to Siavash in the bedroom "Do you want some TM? Do you want some TM?", then crept over to his bed and pounced on him shouting "TICKLE MONSTER!!!!!!". What a legend. Dogface to win. She won't. But fingers crossed for Top 3 at the least.

- A few weeks ago it was published here on these very pages that Bea is one of the most likeable housemates of the series. ERROR. Her days in the house are numbered.

- Halfwit is no longer the bookies' favourite (SALVATION!); that's an honour that is now handed to Siavash, a much more worthy winner. Halfwit is in fact now fourth with most bookmakers, behind Dogface and Charlie.

- Note to Rodrigo: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

- UPDATE: Big Brother has announced that as a punishment for discussing nominations... housemates are now freely allowed to discuss nominations past, present and future. WHAT! Interesting decision... we shall see how this pans out.

Massive Britney fail.

Britney's Circus album was far from a modern classic, but it did have a few cracking potential hits ('Kill The Lights', 'Out From Under') that could possibly have been successful singles.

INSTEAD. After 'If U Seek Amy' (enjoyable, if ridiculously over-hyped) just about managed to scrape into the Top 20 on either side of the Atlantic, the fourth single was announced to be 'Radar', a song that first appeared on 2007's Blackout album before then being snuck on the end of Circus as well.

The single was released on July 27 to very little fanfare. Now, a week after climbing to the dizzy heights of No46, it's slipped back to No58. Given that its official release date was July 27th, any further upward momentum is not gonna happen.

Its reasons for failiure probably are:

- It's twenty-one months old, aka NEARLY TWO MORTAL YEARS.

- It's been on two albums. TWO!

- The cover art is like the 'Toxic' sleeve, only it's shit.

- People like to know that a single exists, so perhaps a bit of basic promotion might be a good idea next time...? Just a thought.

- The RoboBritney that seems to have replaced Actual Britney doesn't really sound much like Actual Britney; in fact we haven't really heard Actual Britney singing for quite some time now, what with Miming Britney being the Britney of choice for all live performances these days.

- No-one likes a music video that's basically about a love affair with a horse.

Also, reports say there's another Greatest Hits album out by the end of the year. This is a bit ridiculous seeing as there have only been seven singles from two albums since the last one in 2005, and of those singles only three have made the Top 10, but the good news is that the compilation - rumoured title Sublime: The Singles Collection - looks set to feature some new material from general all-round musical overlord Max Martin, a major player in Spears' first three albums and producer of 'If U Seek Amy'. The first three albums were a bit bubblegum-y and 'If U Seek Amy' was just absurd, but if he can find some form of middle ground we could be on to a winner.

We shall see.

P-P-P-Pixie face, P-P-Pixie face

Pixie Lott's 'Use Somebody' was a brilliant cover version and different enough from the already-amazing KOL original to not be a crime against music.

And (HOLD THE FRONT PAGE) there's more. This emerged on YouTube a few weeks ago - a cover of Lady GaGa's 'Poker Face'. Her hands are again doing The Diana Vickers Thing in reverse, as if she's luring air towards her. The cover itself is no 'Use Somebody' but it's still a pretty enjoyable affair:

Meanwhile, the actual new single 'Boys and Girls' is most definitley a grower, but never has a video been so awkward and so good... AT THE SAME TIME.

'Boys and Girls' is out on September 7th, with the album (VERY EXCITED) the week after.

Bit slow on the uptake - Part 2

Noirin.

A great housemate. Likeable at times. But, as the weeks went on - especially that last week of her in the house - she became more and more of a complete bitch.

Note especially this spectacularly two-faced interview: http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/bigbrother/a169000/noirin-kelly-big-brother-10.html

Bit slow on the uptake - Part 1

Look into Demi Lovato's iTunes Live From London EP. Been out for nearly three months but there are some gems on there, notably a nice little acoustic version of 'Behind Enemy Lines' and the audience actually KNOW ALL THE WORDS, despite the fact that the album ('Don't Forget') didn't even crack the UK Top 100. Obviously the crowd is entirely 13 year-old girls but THIS IS IRRELEVANT.

High fives for everyone.

Album Review: Jordin Sparks - Battlefield

She struck gold with the ball-busting R’n’B power ballad ‘No Air’, a collaboration with the then-unhated Chris Brown, but Jordin Sparks has yet to really make herself a staple of the modern music scene. Her self-titled debut album landed somewhere just above average, and her other two singles – the brilliant ‘Tattoo’ and the likeable ‘One Step At A Time’ – struggled to come anywhere near the success of that duet. So this, her second album, is really where she has to prove her staying power.

The highlight of Battlefield is, without question, the single of the same name. It doesn’t so much push the right buttons as push all the fucking buttons, as undisputed master of the modern power ballad Ryan Tedder (‘Halo’, ‘Bleeding Love’) throws literally everything into a four-minute explosion of 80s arena-style pop-rock to create what is easily one of the best singles of the year. It really is frustrating that in the UK it’s stalled at No11 on three separate occasions, despite selling more than 124,000 copies.

The rest of the album fluctuates between very good and disappointingly average, but there are plenty of potential hits on here to keep Sparks a chart regular for the time being. Opener ‘Walking on Snow’ is a breezy pop gem and on ‘No Parade’ she gets to really show off that glass-shattering voice of hers. Note also the brilliant ball-busting climax of ‘The Cure’, a highlight that’s criminally tucked away at the end of the album. There are a couple of nods to dance here as well, and these are surprisingly successful – the Shannon-sampling ‘S.O.S. (Let The Music Play)’ could do with a bit of tweaking before its forthcoming release as a single, but it’s an enjoyable high-camp stormer nonetheless; and ‘Emergency (911)’ is really quite brilliant, despite a hilariously random phone-dialling sound effect about thirty seconds in.

But unfortunately what weighs Battlefield down is the amount of tracks that, although far from awful, are somewhat underwhelming and fail to make much of an impression. ‘Watch You Go’ and ‘It Takes More’ are a bit forgettable, ‘Faith’ sounds like a cliché-ridden reject from a Leona Lewis album, and ‘Was I The Only One’ is just plain boring. The problem is that the whole album has been based around the avalanche of praise that met ‘Battlefield’ (the title, the general sound) but unfortunately its nearest sound-a-likes just aren’t strong enough. Interviews suggest that the final track listing was whittled down from a total of thirty recorded songs, and perhaps it would have been a better idea to include a couple of ‘No Air’-style R’n’B tunes over half-arsed pop songs that try, but never will, match the perfection of that title track.

That said, despite the handful of forgettable fillers Battlefield is at least an improvement on last year’s début. This is far from a perfect album, but, at just nineteen years old, there’s plenty of time to perfect Project Sparks yet.

3/5

Album Review: Demi Lovato - Here We Go Again

Unless you've sat through the cringe-worthy Disney cheesefest of Camp Rock, you're unlikely to know who Demi Lovato is. It's a shame really, because the half of her 2008 debut Don't Forget that wasn't co-written by the Jonas Brothers showed some real promise, and spawned three cracking singles; one of which, the spunky 'La La Land', even made a small dent in the charts here in the UK. And now the follow-up is already on the shelves on the other side of the Atlantic, just ten months behind its predecessor.

Here We Go Again opens with a triple-whammy of pop-rock anthems, indicating that despite the potential, Lovato isn't cutting all ties with her Disney background just yet. The titular lead single is a cuter version of Kelly Clarkson's 'Since U Been Gone', a radio-friendly pop-rock nugget that breaks no new ground whatsoever but is likeable enough to warrant a second listen. 'Solo' and 'U Got Nothin' On Me' follow in similar fashion; both boasting relatable lyrics and hints of a raw, edgy quality that could develop into something really special in albums to come. It's like Lovato has jumped off the Disney boat into a sea of musical genius, but done so attached to a safety rope for fear of drowining. Note especially 'Quiet', a track which sounds like it would be alot better without a commercially-conscious record label executive keeping it on a lead.

The mid-album grit of 'Got Dynamite' is the closest the album gets to shaking off the Hilary Duff/Vanessa Hugens/Ashley Tisdale stigma altogether. By far the darkest song on the album, it's the track which best represents the type of music Lovato should be singing. 'Every Time You Lie' is completely different but equally outstanding, boasting a jazzier sound not dissimilar to Don't Forget highlight 'Behind Enemy Lines'. 'World of Chances' (which Lovato wrote with John Meyer) is an endearing down-tempo highlight with lines like "You've got the face for a smile, you know?". One of Lovato's strongest qualities is her ability to sing like she means it, and this is no better flaunted than on the amazing 'Catch Me'. A dissarmingly moving confession of being afraid to let your guard down ("I'm falling, but please don't catch me"), this is the track that deserves to get Lovato noticed, and not just for her vocals - she is the only credited songwriter for this one too.

Unfortunatley the album is not without its duds. 'Falling Over Me' amounts to nothing and is actually pretty boring, and 'Gift Of A Friend', which opens with a string arrangement reminiscent of a B*Witched ballad, is just plain awful. Some tracks are far from dire but smell a bit like filler - 'Stop The World' is considerably lacking in Wow, and 'Remember December' never quite lives up to its promising electro-ridden introduction.

Lovato - or rather Lovato's A&R team - still find it too soon to completely cut away from the Disney-friendly pop-rock that the majority of her fan-base lap up, but this time the sound is alot edgier and the production much more stripped back than her debut. The result is an album that, although not as groundbreaking as it perhaps should be, is at least a step in the right direction. Her voice is powerful but never shouty, her songwriting is honest and believable, and the majority of the music is a breath of fresh air - a bit more tweaking and she's really on to a winner. She's not achieved perfection yet, but this is at least the best album ever to be released by a breakout Disney star. Don't tell Miley.

4/5

DROP EVERYTHING!

Little Boots' video for the brilliant 'Remedy' has finally premiered on the BBC website. It's simple, it uses alot of kaleidoscopic effects, and the whole triangles theme that's run throughout the 'Hands' album campaign is really prominent. 'Remedy' is a highlight from the briiiiiiilliant album and hopefully will top the No13 peak of 'New In Town' when it's released on August 17th.

Less a battlefield, more a quiet disagreement

Fightstar in their Live Lounge sesh did a cover of Jordin Sparks' 'Battlefield' (BESTSONGOFTHEYEAR) yesterday. Bit of an anticlimax to be honest... Would have been more interesting if they did it as an almighty rock version; this acoustic version is severely lacking in POW, and POW is exactly what makes 'Battlefield' brilliant.



The original AMAZING Jordin Sparks version meanwhile is hammering on the door of the top 10 AGAIN in the midweeks. Its chart run so far is 21-11-14-20-11-15, so smacking its head on the glass ceiling of the Top 10 for a third time would be pretty damn frustrating for a song with so much acclaim and general all-round amazingness. But, in better news, the album of the same name (which came out on Monday... STILL DON'T HAVE A COPY) is on course to chart in the Top 10 on Sunday, a significant improvement on the No17 peak of last year's self-titled debut.

Mixed bag today, 'Battlefield' fans. Mixed bag.

G-G-GET SEXY RIGHT NAAAOW.

You know what, seventeen days later and the new Sugababes' single is a bit of a grower.

The Right Said Fred bridge is still a tiny bit cringeworthy, and Heidi still sounds uncomfortable ("In a two piece at the beach they say hey sexy"..?!) but the vodka kick chorus gets more addictive with every listen; and, as I've said before, it is mainly down to Amelle. She was quite wobbly at T4 On The Beach (even with a clearly audible backing track of herself) but, that aside, she can really pull off the whole "G-G-GGET SEXY RIGHT NOW NOW NOW NOW N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-etc" type of thing. The "If I had a dime..." bridge is a bit amazing really.

It still seems a bit try-hard when you line it up next to the likes of About You Now, Hole In The Head, Too Lost In You etc, but the 'babes have a tough market to crack now with Girls Aloud, The Saturdays and the arrivals of Girls Can't Catch and Mini Viva to contend with.

It'll be interesting to see how this one charts, and indeed what the video looks like when it comes out in a couple of weeks. Bearing in mind the whole "stand, sing and pout" thing is pretty much the extent of the group's dance experience, that may be quite an interesting watch.

Siarin? Noirvash?

WHERE DID SIAVASH AND NOIRIN COME FROM?! Was their mysterious conversation at the end of tonight's Big Brother about a possible romance between them?! Why has this gone unnoticed up until now?! Random coupling, though considerably less so than Noirin and Markus which, to be honest, has always been a ridiculous concept. Even as friends.

Also: Charlie and Rodrigo's firey rowing is clearly based in love, bless them. And Bea, who is fast becoming one of the most likeable housemates of the series, made Kenneth look remotely likeable in her dissection of him. Quite an achievement; well done Bea.

Film Review: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Seven months late and two years after the last book was published, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince took an impressive £19.7 million at the box office. It's not surprising really, seeing as throughout the decade Potter films have consistently appealed to thousands upon thousands of movie-goers. But why is such a popular series so often recieved with average reviews and little acknowledgement at prestigious awards ceremonies?

It's probably because it's near-impossible to make a cinematic masterpiece out of the franchise without causing major upset to the die-hard fans. Alot has to be cut from the books as it is, and this time horcruxes are reduced to a passing explaination, the character of Scrimgeour is cut altogether, and Ralph Fiennes' Voldemort is nowhere to be seen. Even so, HBP still feels awfully rushed, and that's no mean feat for a film that runs to over 150 minutes. Not for the first time in the series, the film just doesn't feel concise enough to become truly (excuse the cliché) spell-binding. But all things considered, it would be difficult to tell the story any other way without prompting the die-hard fans to stage a boycott. The haunting climax is genuinley chilling whether you know what's coming or not, and the ending is surprising in just how powerful and moving it is. Don't be surprised if you need a few tissues.

Patchy story-telling is more than made up for in visual wow-power, which is, frankly, amazing. Some of the cinematography here is more than worthy of an Oscar nod, with some really powerful shots and genuinley awe-inspiring special effects from beginning to end. The real tour-de-force is when Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) parts his self-made battlefield of fire in spectacular Moses-like fashion, but there are so many moments of quality directing that shine through, from passing shots such as Ron (Rupert Grint) falling off the back of a chair in the background of an otherwise normal frame, to full set-pieces, such as when a much-loved Potter institution is destroyed by Death Eaters.

The acting is, as ever, temporamental. The "adult" cast pull their weight effortlessly, especially the ever-deadpan Alan Rickman as Severus Snape and the amazing but criminally under-used Helena Bonham-Carter as nutcase Bellatrix. Daniel Radcliffe still has a tendancy to take acting tips from planks of wood, but at least he gets the chance to show some potential as a comic actor. Bonnie Wright struggles as Ginny, especially with the romantic side of things, which sadly makes for a very cringe-worthy scene where she and the bespectacled one share a kiss. But decent performances are turned in by the reliably funny Rupert Grint (Ron), the blossoming Emma Watson (Hermione), and, most surprisingly of all, Tom Felton. His portrayal of Draco Malfoy takes him out of the realms of cliché school bully and into the meatier territory of tormented anti-hero. The newcomers are of a particularly high standard this time as well, with Jim Broadbent perfect in the role of returning teacher Horace Slughorn, and the young actors playing young and teen Voldemort both giving unnervingly sinister performances.

Director David Yates and his creative team have assumed that the audience are growing up with the characters, and the result is a film that's as much about teen angst and romance as it is about the witchcraft and wizardry. At times there's even a hint of sexual tension - note especially a hard-not-to-laugh moment in which on/off love interest Ginny bends down to tie Harry's shoe-laces. Awkward. But most of the romantic sub-plots are welcome distractions from the otherwise dark and often downright confusing main story, such as newcomer Jessie Cave's hilarious performance as Ron's girlfriend Lavender, which is one of the highlights of the whole film. Hermione's feelings for Ron will be relatable for much of the teenage girl demographic, but the Ginny/Harry romance is treated so messily and performed so woodenly that it's difficult to really care about them.

The trouble is that a Harry Potter film will never be outstanding, or rather never can be outstanding. Completely re-working the book to make a more Hollywood-friendly production would enrage the bazillion-strong fanbase, but staying strictly faithful to the bulging source material is difficult to translate into an acclaimed cinematic masterpiece. As it is, the franchise is getting by on compromise. Lots is cut, but enough remains to keep the die-hards content; and for Potter amateurs the film is told well enough to still be pleasurable, but risks being horribly confusing in places. Half-Blood Prince is the funniest and best-looking picture in the franchise yet. In terms of plot it feels a more like a prelude to Deathly Hallows than a story in its own right, but with an ending so moving, effects so stunning and performances at their best yet, enough is done to keep fans itching for their next dose in Autumn 2010.

3/5

Never mind, Pete.

T4 On The Beach doesn't really warrant the word "festival" but it's a notoriously good day out nonetheless. A series of pop acts take to a stage erected for a day on a Somerset beach, perform two to four songs with live vocals over a pre-recorded backing track, and then trot on to bigger and better things.

It's a TV show above all else - the whole day is centred around the filming for broadcast, with a guy cueing the audience applause and apologising while a presenter films an intro for the fifth time. It's all good fun though, despite the fact that some acts really aren't suited to such an atmosphere. For people like Florence + The Machine especially, it was just too big a stage and too far off the target audience. Some were surprising, especially Will Young who, in the throng of spectacular rain, actually went down surprisingly well. Metro Station's Shake It was performed just as the rain began to pour down in spectacularly aggressive fashion, and even though it gave the crowd a "FUCK IT, RAVE!" type of lift, it was still performed appaulingly, and the performance of their follow-up single, the #89 "hit" Seventeen Forever, fell ridiculously flat.

Acts who were meant to be amazing but ended up being overwhelmingly average were Daniel Merriweather, who shouted his high notes as a cunning alternative to singing them; Basement Jaxx, who delivered a set that was overall quite messy; Shontelle, who left most of the hard work to her backing singers; and The Saturdays, whose vocals were somewhat average and their performances lacking in energy and excitement. Sophie Ellis-Bextor... well, she had a go.

Kudos to Alesha Dixon for turning in solid vocal performances for her three-track set of singles and also for getting the crowd going more than any other artist, and well done also to The Noisettes frontwoman Shingai for delievering equally flawless performances of the groups' two singles. Amelle took a few notes to warm up for her Tinchy Styder duet but was absoloutley fine once she got going. Dizzee Rascal undoubtedly stole the show when he closed with four fantastic performances that got the crowd going unlike any act before him. There's surely a number one spot reserved for 'Holiday' when it's released next month.

Special mention though for Peter Andre, who's ABSOLOUTLEY AWFUL performance of his CATASTROPHICALLY SHIT new single was injected with a bit of hilarity when he fell off the stage.



Added a small amount of excitement to his performance at least.

AMAZING

The new Sugababes single sounds alot less ridiculous the more you realise how good Amelle is. This collab with Tinchy Stryder ought to confirm things nicely.

Nice one 'Tinch'.

Thoughts on Cascada's new album

'LOL'.

BBetter

This may seem farfetched.

BUT.

Big Brother is pretty good this year.

Obviously very few of them are actually likeable, but their relationships with eachother are quite interesting. Markus and Noirin's relationship has been prominent for ages now but is still strangely fascinating, and even the plainer housemates like Sophie (Dogface?) are becoming interesting to observe. Viewing figures may have nose-dived to below half what they normally are, but they are steadily improving again and that's probably because it's actually really interesting this year to watch fourteen oddballs get on with eachother. Kind of feels like a social experiment again, like it did in the old days.

Kudos also on the new eviction format. The celebrity guest who is almost always too Z-list to even appear on a Celebrity series seems pretty pointless, but the addition of a behavioural expert/psychologist to proceedings provides a variation on Davina's good-but-tiresome interview habits.

Of course this slight (SLIGHT) rise in quality is unlikely to bring the show back up to its ratings successes of yore, but at least it's been consistently watchable for the first time in a good few years.

KUDOS FOR ALL.

The new Lily Allen video

'22', the third single to be lifted from Lily Allen's 'It's Not Me, It's You' album, has had its video premiere. Musically it's a happy medium between 'Not Fair' and 'The Fear', and the video is sleek, arty, and flaunts Lilz' nifty new hairdo. It's quite a good track and the video is simple and effective without being too fancy and fast-paced.

Well done everyone.

FINALLY. Diana Vickers leak o'clock.

Diana Vickers tweeted earlier tody that one of her tracks had been leaked, so the first course of action was, naturally, to sprint over to YouTube and see what the fuss is about.

Conclusion: Amazing.

The distinctive tone to her voice is still present and correct, and it really suits this bright and breezy gem that apparently isn't even going to be released a single. Those who wanted to shoot the poor girl during her X Factor stint are unlikely to be swayed by 'Jumping Into Rivers', but those excited to hear what she'd get up to next are unlikely to be disappointed.

Kudos, Diana.

Album Review: Little Boots - 'Hands'

Something’s not quite right about the Little Boots marketing campaign. Named the winner of the BBC Sound of 2009 poll at the beginning of the year, Boots – real name Victoria Hesketh – became one of the most hotly tipped artists in the industry. Instead of using this blaze of publicity as a launch pad, she has instead remained dormant, putting the finishing touches on her debut album whilst not-that-dissimilar newcomers like Lady Gaga and La Roux have fired to the top of the charts in her place. Now all of a sudden the charts are packed with artists aboard the electro-pop bandwagon and poor Hesketh has a lot of work to do to show what all the fuss was about. To top it all off, the fierce critical acclaim has put her in real danger of becoming inaccessible and over-hyped. It’s a shame really, because 'Hands', the debut album in question, is easily one of the best albums you’ll hear this year.

Its simplicity is what makes it so brilliant. Hesketh never tries too hard to be clever, she just is. And what really shines through, fluffy as it sounds, is her endearing belief in love. The overwhelming majority of the songs are about relationships, and each one is a lot more accessible than you might think. Across the duration of the album she finds herself falling in love beyond her control ('No Brakes'), suffers a bit of unrequited love ('Ghost'), and realises the perfect relationship isn’t so perfect after all ('Click'). 'Tune Into My Heart', a track about long-distance relationships, is one of the most adorable songs in recent memory.

Lead single 'New In Town' is a perfect demonstration of Hesketh’s ability to pen a good chorus; and there are so many more of them scattered about the album. Radio-friendly 'Remedy', set to be released as the next single, is equally irresistible, and the euphoric 'Earthquake' holds the potential to get pop’s harshest critics on the dancefloor.

Hesketh doesn’t voice her heartbreak through Kelly Clarkson style yells or Leona Lewis’ inter-octave leaps; in fact her voice is really quite gentle. It isn’t overly powerful or quirky, but her soft vocals are a perfect match. These are songs that Clarkson and Lewis would probably sound ridiculous on. The critically acclaimed 'Stuck On Repeat', released as a promotional buzz single late last year, sets her haunting vocals against a fierce synth-heavy backing to create one of the most original pop songs since Girls Aloud started arranging verses and choruses in bizarre orders.

Since debuting inside the top 5 and swiftly free-falling to the bottom end of the charts, 'Hands' has slowly gathered some more upward momentum; an encouraging sign that the genius of Little Boots is beginning to make itself known. With several festival dates lined up and a brilliant new single in the pipeline for the next few weeks, hopefully the long-term career of Project Boots will look a bit more secure in the near future.

5/5

HAVEN'T POSTED ANYTHING IN FIVE MONTHS

Fail.

An intellectual and lucidly written review of Skins, Series 3, Episode 2

What a load of shit.

Hilary Duff: How To Have A Half-Arsed Music Career

Hilary Duff's 'Best Of' compilation is out this week.

No, really.

No, REALLY.

Here is a selected plethora of facts about this album:

- It includes a groundbreakingly massive FIVE (yes, FIVE) Top 40 singles.

- The lyrically ridiculous 'Beat Of My Heart' and 'Why Not' are real, real low points.

- Her only two Top 10 singles, 'So Yesterday' and 'Wake Up', have not aged well. They sound very dated and are quite rightly tucked away at the rear end of the track-listing.

- The only highlights of the set are the tracks that were never released as singles (note especially 'Dignity'). What they're doing on a 'Best Of' collection therefore needs some explaination (maybe because without them there'd only be five tracks on it), but it just goes to prove that Duff's singles, however likeable she is, have never been anything above average. On the rare occasion that she has made an alright (dare we say it, GOOD) song, they've been damned to remain as unreleased album tracks forevermore.

- The overall message, or moral if you will, of this sorry collection of "hits" is that whatever Hilary Duff can do, someone else can do better.

But just because her music career hasn't been a TOTAL waste of time, here are two songs that were never released as singles that are in fact very very good.

Ugly Betty begins its slow death

'Ugly Betty' has been sidelined in the States until the summer, with 'Samantha Who?' and a new Megan Mullaly comedy taking over instead.

Ratings of the show have tumbled constantly since its first season and it now looks like it will struggle to be picked up for a fourth year.

The second season of 'Betty' wasn't GREAT, and the Writers' Strike last year can't have helped. Since the Strike some of the country’s most popular shows have struggled to cling on to their audiences, and are now in real danger of being axed. One such show is ‘Heroes’, which last year lost millions of viewers, and has continued to do so ever since. ‘House’ and ‘Brothers and Sisters’, neither of which really took off in the UK (CRIMINAL), have suffered a very slight drop, but are still performing amiably and should hopefully be re-commissioned.

Medical drama ‘ER’ is definitely coming to an end after fifteen years on the air, and it’s been confirmed that ‘Prison Break’ has been axed after seeing its ratings plummet. Relatively new shows ‘Dirty Sexy Money’ and ‘Pushing Daisies’ have also been told that no more episodes will be ordered when their second season draws to a close. Bad times :(

The Saturdays skive Work

'Work' - the reported fourth single from The Saturdays which, in all honesty, is AMAZING - is now... wait... NOT the fourth single from The Saturdays.

It's now going to be this year's official Comic Relief single, and it's a cover of Depeche Mode's 'Just Can't Get Enough'.

It's out March 3.

It had better be good.

End post.

Kelly Clarkson's new video

'My Life Would Suck Without You' has just broken Britney's relatively new record of 'biggest jump to US No.1' when it vaulted from No97 to No1 yesterday, which is good news seeing as the song is BRILLIANT.

The video however... Is not. It's not a BAD video, it's just a let down because the song is stupidly good. It's a bit been-there-done-that really, and maybe it'll look better in higher quality when we don't have dodgy rips from American YouTube users as our only evidence.

Here it is. RCA will probably haul it down with all that copyright business by the end of the day.

GOOD NEWS DIANA FANS

Diana Vickers ("CALL MAYYY") has landed a record deal with RCA! This is good news as it means she can work on producing some amazing music that can be amazingly successful.

Her rumoured squeeze Eoghan Quigg has also been signed to RCA (this isn't such good news), and JLS meanwhile have been signed to Epic Records. All of this reportedly happened when Simon Cowell turned them all down to concentrate on Alexandra Burke.

Diana's music will hopefully be brilliant. JLS' music will hopefully prove that they are in fact "something special" (let's be honest... were they THAT standout on X Factor?), and Eoghan.... Eoghan is also apparently going to have a single out. Hmm.

RAVE of a Jordin Sparks remix

'One Step At A Time' is out today, and the Jason Nevins remix is completely worth the 79p from iTunes.

30-second Lily Allen clips to get excited about

Lily Allen's 'It's Not Me, It's You' has been available on pre-order for ages on iTunes now, which means that 30-second clips of each song are now available to be listened to. Isn't that clever.


The sound is much more electropop than the popped-up-ska that was forceful in 'Alright, Still'. 'Not Fair' and '22' sound surprisingly funky (if "funky" is at all a credible word to use). 'I Could Say' sounds like it might actually be one of the most amazing songs in the history of amazing songs, and 'F*** You' could be the new 'Alfie'. 'Who'd Have Known' is basically a deadpan and slightly less uplifting version of Take That's 'Shine', and 'He Wasn't There' has a backing track that sounds like a sequel to the debut album's 'Friend of Mine'.

All in all sounds quite good and is out (finally) on February 8th.

And now for a movie-related post

No, films aren't really the Trash Lounge specialty but the Oscar nominations have been announced today so a quick commentary can't really go amiss.

Plus with all the Brits nominations being splashed everywhere it's definitley Awards Season so with these ones being pretty important it must be worth a bit of a look, no?

Here is a short list of four things that could happen at the Oscars this year, based on the nominations:

• Anne Hathaway could get an Oscar for 'Rachel Getting Married'. Wouldn't that be nice?
• Or Kate Winslet could finally win one for her brillllllllllllliant turn in 'The Reader'. This would also be another opportunity for her to piss off Angelina Jolie in her acceptance speech after the spectacular faux-pas at the Golden Globes ("Oh God I'm so sorry... Meryl... Anne... OH GOD WHO'S THE OTHER ONE... Angelina!", cue a seething I'm-going-to-kill-you smile from Jolie).
• 'Tropic Thunder' could end up being OSCAR WINNING.... because Robert Downey Jr is nominated for Best Supporting Actor for it. Obviously Heath Ledger will (deservedly) be the eventual winner but wouldn't it be weird if 'Tropic Thunder' picked up an actual Oscar?!
• 'Wall-E' could, and hopefully will, win Best Animated Feature.

But, shockingly, horrifyingly, 'High School Musical 3' will not be winning anything. No, nothing. Not even for Original Song, because only one track from 'Wall-E' and two from 'Slumdog Millionnaire' have been nominated. IT'S NOT EVEN NOMINATED FOR ANY RAZZIES! Cheese acknowledgement: EPIC FAIL.

The awards are announced on February 22nd. Full nominations are here.

Disclaimer: It would be a pretty big balls-up on the movie industry's part if HSM3 were to be nominated for an Oscar.

Good lord, another teen drama...

In the unlikely event that 'Gossip Girl' is not your teen drama of choice, then you may want to investigate this slightly less controversial option when it premieres on E4 on Monday:



'90210' made a strong debut in the USA last autumn (sorry, "fall"). It's shed a few million viewers since then but is still one of the country's favourite shows and we'll have to see how it fares over here on Monday. Here's a quick synopsis of the first episode, courtesy of a crazy fan on Wikipedia:

"Harry, new principal of West Beverly Hills High School, returns from Kansas to his childhood home of Beverly Hills with his wife Debbie, their daughter Annie and adopted son Dixon, to care for Harry's mother, former television star Tabitha Wilson. On their first day at school, Annie and Dixon encounter Ethan, the star lacrosse player she met a few summers ago; Naomi, the spoiled rich girl whose sole focus is her Sweet Sixteen party; Silver, the free-spirited girl who later gossips about Annie on her blog; Adrianna, a closeted drug addict, and Navid, editor of Blaze News. When Naomi fails to complete an assignment, English teacher Ryan Matthews and guidance counselor Kelly Taylor, bring the problem to Harry, who quickly realizes that keeping secrets about his past is going to be impossible."

Seems pretty complicated but your fairly tick-the-boxes supply of characters etc. The Teen Drama Perfection Scale is measured by comparision with 'The O.C.', the show that was Teen Drama Perfection (for most of the time anyway). Only 'Gossip Girl' has matched it so far, so let's see how '90210' fares.

XOXO

'Gossip Girl' has premiered its second season on ITV2 now and is stupidly good.

It is stupidly good due to the following:

1. Jenny pisses all over her boss during her summer internship (in the "GO GURL" sense rather than the literal urinating sense)


2. The show is still split into parts not just by a regular fade to black but by a witty remark by the narrating Gossip Girl herself and then a big "DOOM" and a sudden cut to black. Dramaaaaticcc.


3. Everyone is still ridiculously good looking. Literally everyone. There's not a single odd-looking dude or lass in it.


4. Blair is still really scheming but is hiding a vulnerable centre. Awww, kinda.


5. There's a really good bit where the 'Nate having an affair with a married woman'/'Serena covering for Nate'/'Dan going to find Serena' strands collide.

There are a couple of bits that could have been better however:

1. Why has Grandma Van Der Woodsen suddenly become a saint? She was a total bitch last year, what's with that?!


2. It's all in the Hamptons, which isn't the same as the busy environment of Manhattan but that looks set to be rectified next week.


3. Neither Serena's nor Blair's mothers made an appearance; nor for that matter did Vanessa.

It's still shamelessly trashy and shamelessly addictive, and the biggest negative point of all is that there's now a seven day wait until episode two. BAH.

Brit parade

The Brits nominations are out. As usual it's nothing to have a wet dream about, and the results can probably be predicted right here right now, but there's usually a surprise or two so we'll see how it goes.

Duffy and Coldplay lead the charge with four nominations each. Fair cop seeing as the former was pretty much THE breakthrough artist of 2008, and the latter sold about 20 trillion albums in the first ten minutes, or something. Adele, Scouting For Girls and Elbow have each pocketed three nominations each, whilst Ting Tings, Estelle and Girls Aloud each have two.

Here's the stuff you need to know:

• Gabriella Cilmi will lose International Female to any one of the other four, but it's pretty good news that she was nominated.


• Brian Higgins has not been nominated for British Producer Of The Year. Don't know where the hell that category came from, but it's pretty harsh that the dude who wrote pretty much every good pop song to be released in the last few years has been overlooked.


• British Breakthrough Act will either be won by Adele (as a means of justifying the Critics' Choice award last year), or Duffy. Ting Tings wouldn't go amiss but they probably won't get it.


• Elbow (cos of that whole Mercury Music Prize thing) or Coldplay will most likely bag the British Album trophy. Albums from Duffy and the Ting Tings just weren't consistently good enough.


• Girls Aloud are not nominated for British Live Act, and apparently Scouting For Girls aren't that good live. Girls Aloud prove their vocal abilities on tour. Scouting For Girls just prove that their music all sounds the same. We should think, anyway.


• Having just trashed Scouting For Girls, it must be acknowledged that their music, although it all sounds the same, is actually very good. Therefore 'Heartbeat' is among the better nominees for British Single. Dizzee Rascal, Duffy, Estelle, Adele and Girls Aloud are also among the best entrants. Coldplay can, with all due respect, fuck off out of this category seeing as they probably will win every other award anyway.


• ... including British Group. Either them or Take That.


• British Female probably won't go to Adele, and probably shouldn't go to Estelle. Duffy is a very possible winner and either Beth Rowley and M.I.A. could be the token "out there" winner of the night.


• Fuck knows where British Male thinks it's going. James Morrison has put out the best single of all five, but honestly it could go to any of them. None of them have been particularly brilliant this past year, which leads to the realisation that 2008 wasn't really a great year for British male solo artists. Ah well, 2010 perhaps.

If you want to carouse the whole lot, they are here. The ceremony is on February 18th.

Britannia High axed

And so ends another good concept that turned out to be quite shit in practise.

Shame.

A nice little Girls Aloud retrospective

'The Loving Kind' gave Girls Aloud their twentieth Top 10 hit yesterday. The band have done absolutley fuck all promotion for it since before Christmas, so it really wasn't that shocking when midweek figures indicated it was a kitten's whisker away from being their first single to fall short of the Top 10. Hardcore Aloud fans took action in their masses, and were out in force downloading the single from every downloadable outlet, buying multiple copies of the CD and ordering copies off Amazon by the van-load.

Which is kinda weird really, because if the singles chart is meant to be a list of the most popular songs in the country, surely it defeats the object if one person buys twenty copies just for the sake of a statistic...?

Regardless, the first twenty singles have been, on the whole, pretty damn good. But they've done so many equally amazing tracks that never got a single release. Note especially 'Some Kind of Miracle', 'Wild Horses', 'Graffiti My Soul', 'Models', 'Girl Overboard'... Which is a shame when you consider that a few of their singles have actually been shit:

The worst ones:
- See The Day
- Life Got Cold
- See The Day
- Walk This Way
- See The Day

The rest have all been consistently really very really good. Kudos to the Girls, but especially kudos to Xenomania. God help the band if Xenomania decide to retire from songwriting. They have given the girls some of the decade's best pop music, and picking the highlights from the back catalogue is somewhat difficult, but we can pretty much say that if we HAVE to choose their best single to date, it probably still has to be this one...



IT'S A THREE MINUTE SONG AND THE CHORUS DOESN'T KICK IN FOR TWO MINUTES. Literal wow.

Good job, girls. Now we'll have twenty more please.

'Disinclined'-gate: Phew...

Well thank God for that.

Notes on The Killers' next single

The reasons why 'Spaceman' is better than 'Human' are:
1. 'Spaceman' begins with a ridiculously good 'OH-OH-OH' introduction.
2. 'Spaceman' contains no grammatical errors.

The reasons why 'Human' is better than 'Superman' are:
1. 'Human' begins with a ridiculously good 'easing-us-in' introduction.
2. You'll probably forget everything about 'Spaceman' by approximatley eight minutes after you finish playing it.

The reasons why all of the above are irrelevant are:
1. Both 'Human' and 'Spaceman' are, like the vast majority of the Killers' back catalogue, not 'Mr Brightside'.

Pop-Punk O'Clock

Here is a plethora of interesting facts about The Cab.

- They are a bit like the American version of One Night Only - they are totally unoriginal but can still bring out a good tune or two.

- They released their very good album 'Whisper War' in the USA last year.

- As it is their only album release so far, we can deduce that they, as a whole, are therfore 'very good'.

- Assorted Fallout Boy and Panic At The Disco members are credited with producing/co-writing some of their tracks.

- They only sound like Fallout Boy and Panic At The Disco for a little bit of the album.

- The band have never been launched in the UK.

- This is a shame.

- They do clever, contemporary, post-modern (etc etc) things with their songs, like 'One Of THOSE Nights' which puts emphasis on the word 'THOSE' by putting it in capital letters. Mmmhmmm. Their track 'Zzzzz' is so-called because the chorus says 'Singing myself to sleep / But you're still my favourite melody', so instead of doing the Normal Thing and naming it after a memorable chorus line, they have decided to carry on this extended metaphor of sleep and pick five Zs as the title. INSPIRED.

- 'Zzzzz' is, while we're on it, amazing, and wipes the floor with a couple of bland been-there-done-that pop-punk moments that fill out the LP.

- The Cab have a pianist among them which adds that extra bit of depth to their songs.

- 'Whisper War' is not technically out in the UK but you can investigate them on our iTunes store. How good.

- The Cab have no recent activity and there is really no reason for them to be mentioned at this precise moment in time. They're just good.

- 'Zzzzz' appears below.

Unfortunate Scheduling Clashes Of Our Times

Some form of catchup service will be needed next Thursday, then.

First impressions of this new Kelly Clarkson business

'My Life Would Suck Without You' is the new single from Kelly Clarkson and, you'll be pleased to hear, it's a hell of a lot better than anything on her tries-too-hard-to-be-epic 'My December' album.

This single returns her to her roots, and it sounds a lot like a cross between 'Since U Been Gone' and 'Behind These Hazel Eyes'. In fact the structure is exactly the same. Quiet verse, belty chorus, slightly-less-quiet second verse, belty second chorus, slow-it-down middle, big belty finale, gradual stop. The subject matter isn't really that dissimilar either, except 'My Life...' is alot less angry and alot more emotionally resonant. In fact, there's something about it that's a tiny, tiny little bit heartbreaking. Quite possibly one to relate to if you ever feel like you've broken up with a complete twat, but then realise that he/she is actually your perfect match. Awww.

In all honesty, it's 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 times better than anything on 'My December' and is actually quite brilliant.

It premiered on US radio this morning and can be found here. And yes, the robotic "Music. On Demand" lady is on top form.

'Disinclined'-gate: Part 4

Girls Aloud's brilliant 'The Loving Kind' leapt 10 to #29 this week, and is released properly as a single today. If it doesn't make the Top 10 it will be an insult to a great song written for the girls by Xenomania and the Pet Shop Boys, which deserves to be placed a lot higher than some of the distinctly average singles in the band's back catalogue, all of which struck the Top 10.

The B-side is also quite accuratley summed up by the word AWESOME. But it will probably never be heard by anyone ever in the world because it's only available on the 7'' Vinyl Picture Disc. And THAT is only available through ordering on their website. Had it been on the 'Out of Control' album it would have been one of the standout tracks, so an interesting (tranlsation: thick) decision by Polydor there.

Listen out for the post-chorus guitar moment about a minute and a half into the song. It is good.

AT LAST! A DATE!

Gossip Girl premieres on ITV2 on Wednesday 21st January at 9pm.

JUST OVER A WEEK TO GO!

Do you wanna see the first five minutes now?!

Oh alright...

Smiley @ Miley

Miley Cyrus' new video is quite good.

NO WAIT, COME BACK!

It's quite catchy to be honest, and has a really, really cool dance break at about 2'30. Watch:

Everyone wants to bang Britney, apparently

'If U Seek Amy' has been announced as the third single to be taken from Britney Spears' comeback album (her second comeback album in the space of a year... does that even count?!) 'Circus'.

As expected, the more sensitive among the general public are livid, outraged, BOILLLLING FURIOUS at the decision, because the line "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to, If U Seek Amy" is a clever way of saying "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K me."

A mother's rights group in Australia has kicked up a fuss because it's a bad influence on the kids. Someone said: "I got them the Circus album because little kids are Britney fans, but there was no warning on the album and none of the songs listed had f**k in the title."

Well, here are the facts:

• If you haven't already twigged that Britney is no longer the World's Best Role Model then bluntly it's your own fault for buying your kids the CD.


• Has any of her music over the past few years sounded like it could have come from Same-flippin'-Difference? Have there not been hints over the past few years ("IT'S BRITNEY BITCH!") that Britney's music is unsuitable?


• Yeah... Jive probably should have put some sort of warning on the CD because essentially they can dance around the line all they want, the line is "...begging to F.U.C.K. me". It's a clever trick to do the whole Amy crap, but "...are begging to if you seek Amy" is as gramatically shit as "...or are we dancer?".


• 'IF U SEEK AMY' IS A TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNE

Right, so 'Kill The Lights' was one of the best produced records of last year and logically that should surely be the next single, but 'If U Seek Amy' is still a wicked track. Even though, like every other Britney song, Britney still sounds about 15. And thus not quite suited to a song about "all of the boys and all of the girls" wanting to ride her.

The Awesome Gary Barlow Show In Which You Can Be A New Awesome Gary Barlow...

... may well be the title of a new BBC1 show being launched in the autumn.

Here's the thang. Gary Barlow is, according to reports splashed all over the tabloids today, plotting his own reality series to rival The X Factor. It will be a "nationwide search" (they're all called that, aren't they) to find the UK's new big boyband. RAVE.

The BBC are wetting themselves with excitement apparently and say it could be something they could do every year if it's a hit. The idea is that it'll rival The X Factor.

ITV and the BBC are constantly trying to better the other's ideas, but it almost never, NEVER, works.

Evidence A: BBC attempt their own Pop Idol



Evidence B: ITV attempt their own musical theatre casting show



Evidence C: ITV attempt their own Strictly




... hmmmmm.

One day to go!

The third season of 'Brothers and Sisters' hits More4 tomorrow and could quite possibly be the most exciting event to happen to anyone ever. So, just to get us excited even more, here are a few hints at what to expect from the first few episodes...

Clearly this little time-bomb is going to be a pretty important storyline:


OMGZZZ BUT AREN'T THEY LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER?! IS THE SHOW TITLE IN FACT SUGGESTING INCEST...?! Shh, no... remember, at the end of last season Rebecca found out that she is, in fact, not a Walker after all. That whole huge storyline about her being a secret Walker child? Yeah, not in fact the case. But, conveniently, as it happens there is a real secret Walker child waiting to be discovered, and we'll be meeting him this season. But one character who'll be digging around looking for him is actually quite a surprise - Holly. Hmm.

Also, Kitty and Robert set their planned adoption into motion, but a typical Walker feud interrupts a dinner thrown for the adoption agent. Ahh, how 'Brothers and Sisters'.

TOMORROW. MORE4. :D :D :D

Eminem's new single surfaces

After several unfinished versions leaked online last year, Eminem's new single 'Crack A Bottle' has surfaced online.

So, has he done the traditional post-career-break thing of growing up/maturing his sound?

"Let your body waddle, don't act just like a sloppy model."

Ah. That's a no, then.

Listen to it by clicking here.

'Disinclined'-gate: Part 3

YES, IT'S OFFICIAL. As the 'Disinclined'-gate furore continues, midweek sales released today indicate that "The Loving Kind" is now safely snuggled inside the Top 30, and hopefully it will hold steady (or even better rise further) in time for Sunday's chart.

In celebration, here's another genius lyric from it: "The issue's never mentioned, with all the best intentions."
IN.
CRE.
DI.
BLE.
*standing ovation*

To celebrate, enjoy a picture of Cheryl Cole on the cover of Vogue. Because she is, after all, lest we forget, more famous and generally more interesting than the others combined*.


Oh, and also, The Saturdays' 'Issues' is looking like it will plough into the Top 10 despite being a bit like an old Atomic Kitten B-side. Regardless, their fourth single 'Work' is a highlight from the 'Chasing Lights' album so let's just all focus on that and pretend 'Issues' never happened.


*Kimberley will be recognised one day. Oooone day...

'Disinclined'-gate: Part 2

Breaking news on the Girls Aloud 'Disinclined'-gate debacle we started earlier... 'The Loving Kind' is stationed at No22 on the iTunes chart at the moment, two positions ahead of 'The Promise' and four places ahead of Britney Spears' 'Circus'. According to today's midweek sales figures 'Circus' is outselling 'TLK', but does this iTunes positioning mean that 'TLK' is on the rise? WE'RE ON IT.

And while we're on the subject, here's another genius lyric that was forgotten in the earlier post: "Both wide awake and dreaming... Of yesterday." EMOTIVE. SPINE-CHILLING. GROUND-BREAKING. HEARTFELT. Etc etc...

Now everyone please appreciate the embodiment of loveliness that is Kimberley Walsh with our handy picture. Ahhh.

The new Cage single

Cage The Elephant are releasing 'Back Against The Wall' as their next single. 'In One Ear' and 'Ain't No Rest For The Wicked' got them noticed by the mainstream market but they can't afford to drop it when both tracks, despite being really really good songs, didn't essentially do enough to set them apart from the vast expanse of indie landfill.

Listen, if you will, and make up your own minds as to whether 'Back Against The Wall' is up to the job...



Let the inspired image of an elephant in a cage not go unacknowledged. Because, you see, the band is called Cage The Elephant and thus it seems a natural choice of picture for the YouTube rip to be an elephant in a cage done craftily on Paint.

When 'ridiculous' meets 'good'

Watch Lady GaGa's video for 'Poker Face' with the sound off and it's the most ridiculous music video in the entire history of ever.

'Disinclined'-gate

FANS OF POPULAR SONG. 'The Loving Kind', the very very brilliantly amazingly pretty new single from Girls Aloud, created ingeniously by the Pet Shop Boys and our faves Xenomania is in danger of criminally missing the Top 10 a week on Sunday - a day we will henceforth refer to as LKDAY (NB: not to be confused with LK Today, o'course).

This week is its final week before it becomes a fully released single, and as an album download it's perched despicably at No39 in the singles chart, and this week's first batch of midweek figures show that it will still be outside the Top 30 for another week. It could, very possibly, be their first ever single to miss the Top 10.
1. *gasp*
2. *faint*
3. *die*

On the plus side, all could not be lost... Girls Aloud's fanbase is still, on the whole, quite a hardcore one, i.e. they're people who will wait for the proper release before purchasing, alot like those McFly fans who loyally buy their singles and charge them to No1 regardless of how shit they are. THEREFORE the single could pick up a surge of sales next week when it's released 'Properly'. If 'See The Day' could edge into the Top 10 then there's no reason why 'The Loving Kind' shouldn't... it rhymes 'kind' with 'disinclined' for God's sake! DISINCLINED!



Reasons why The Loving Kind is awesome:
- Nicola's lines are immense, thus effectively taking a musical shit all over the others. (i.e. Nadine).
- It's got lines like "Somewhere on a Monday morning, in a rush hour of another day, standing on a crowded platform, carelessly we lost our way", thus being a clever reflection of relationships in Our Modern Society. CLASSIC.
- Sarah Harding sings like she means it, i.e. she doesn't yell into the microphone "HERE I AAAAM!!!!! :O !!!!!!!! :P !!!!!" like she did with The Promise. She really makes the lines Her Own, thus effectively taking a musical shit over the others. (i.e. Nadine).
- The Saturdays' new song is a forgettable piece of formulaic balladry, and this song must, must, beat it.
- Kimberley looks stunning in the video, like actually AMAZING, thus effectively taking a musical shit over the others. (i.e. Nadine).
- It's like a ballad... and it's sad... but you can dance to it... REVOLUTIONARY.
- As previously mentioned (its genious is so uncomprehendable that it bears repeating), the song rhymes 'kind' with 'disinclined'. How. Clever.
- Cheryl has a red hairband in the video, thus effectively taking a musical shit over the others. (i.e. Nadine).*
- Speaking of the video, it has about 17 billion wind machines in it. Classic GA.
- Nadine, naturally, as ever, runs away with the song and pulls out an amazing heartfelt vocal, thus effectively taking a musical shit over the others. (i.e. Nadine).

Developments in 'Disinclined'-gate will be reported here. First.



* N.B. Cheryl's hairband in the video is actually hilarious and shit, and was used as a positive for the sole purpose of carrying on the running joke of Girls Aloud members, including Nadine, shitting on Nadine. In actual fact, much as we love her, there isn't much positive to say about Cheryl in this song. She's good but... yknow... so's a tepid bath.

First peek at new 'Skins'

WOAHHHH! 'Skins' is back later this month and E4 have unleashed this spectacularly hardcore promo. It's not really one for the kids. Not really. At all. Really, really not.



That's the toned down version. The actual version comes complete with sex and everything.

Tony's sister Effy heads up the new bunch, which also includes her Series 2 bestie Pandora, cocky leader Cook, his best mate Freddie, brainbox magician JJ, feisty Naomi, and twins Katie and Emily. It begins on E4 on 22 January.

Georgina rumoured to return to 'Gossip Girl'

Good news! Michelle Trachtenberg is rumoured by US publication Entertainment Weekly to be reprising her role as Georgina at the end of the second season of the brilliantly trashy 'Gossip Girl'. Apparently several "inside sources" claim she'll be back for a multi-episode arc after appearing in last year's first season. As for the show's season 2 UK premiere, ITV2 originally pencilled in this week...... but we now have to settle of "Late January TBC". BAH!

Pop making a comeback?! Ummm maybe not...

Hoooold on a sec, two minutes ago the industry was buzzing about the return of pop, but as the first chart of 2009 is published, the nation's three resident girlbands are all facing imminent flops with their new singles. Oops.

Firstly, newcomers The Saturdays release third single "Issues" today - it's currently sitting at No27 as an album download, with their previous hit "Up" two places behind it, on a rebound back up the charts to No29. "Issues", a pleasant enough radio-friendly ballad, lacks the punch and immediacy of "Up" and with the latter still doing the business three months after its release, "Issues" looks unlikely to recieve enough of a surge in the next seven days to help it top its predecessor's No5 peak. Whether or not it'll even crack the Top 10 on Sunday remains to be seen.

The Sugababes on the other hand don't have to worry about an old hit overshadowing a new one. Their last single "Girls" is now safely on its way out of the Top 75, but that hasn't stopped new single "No Can Do" stalling at a disappointing No23. The track is fully available as a download and also got its CD single release last week, so with its promotion cycle now just about over, it seems unlikely that "No Can Do" has the potential to climb any higher. It could well end up being their lowest charting single since "Follow Me Home" froze outside the Top 30 back in 2006.

Finally, and most surprisingly, Girls Aloud's 20th single "The Loving Kind" is in serious danger of being their first ever single to miss the Top 10. The fact is that their October No1 "The Promise" is still yo-yoing up and down the Top 20, and its ongoing success is in danger of completely overshadowing the potential of "The Loving Kind". The same thing happened to the likes of Sam Sparro and Gabriella Cilmi last year - they released singles that were so ongoingly successful that follow-ups drifted by unnoticed. In truth, "The Loving Kind" is one of the girls' strongest singles to date, and it will be a real shame if it stops the group achieving their milestone 20th Top 10 hit. It's released properly on January 12th, so has a couple of weeks to gain momentum and improve on its current placing at No39 as an album download.