Best Creation of New Sub-GenreWhoever came up with the genius idea of mixing r'n'b with power ballads needs a serious raise. 'No Air' by JORDIN SPARKS and CHRIS BROWN was nothing short of epic. Just epic. No other word. Epppppic.
Best Lyric In The History of Ever
"My best friend Lesley said, 'oh she's just being Miley'." You are hereby challenged to find any lyric in the history of popular song that can top that. Note: You will fail. Kudos to the songwriters behind that MILEY CYRUS epic 'See You Again'.
Best Song About Housework
"Does he wash up?! He never washes up!" cries ALESHA DIXON. It's not just kitchen-themed ranting that makes 'The Boy Does Nothing' such a tune, oh no. Mambo intro? Check. Nifty use of the word "HEY!" about half-way through? Check. Excuse to dance like a beast in the music video? Check. Top marks to Alesha for making the male population re-think their attitudes around the house.
Best Demonstration of the Ability to Count
They don't write much of their own material but whoever says GIRLS ALOUD are thick needs to check out the intro to 'The Promise' in which cries of "1! 2! 3! 4!" signal in the best pop record of the year. FACT.
Best Epic Ballad Based Around A Hypothetical Train of Thought
Most of us keep our musings about being the opposite gender for the day to ourselves, but not BEYONCE. She's got her plan for if she were a boy absoloutley sussed.
Most Ridiculously Overkilled Song
'Rockstar' by NICKELBACK is NOT that good. It's really not.
The 'Wish I Thought Of That' Award
This one's a tie. Firstly to ITV for wishing they'd tapped into the school-based musical genre before those pesky Disney fatcats did. Shame that BRITANNIA HIGH turned out to be a bit of a turd. Other winners in this category are BOYZONE, desperatley trying to emulate the TAKE THAT reunion but obviously falling flat on their faces. Shaaaaame.
Worst Use of Grammar
"Are we human or are we dancer?" questions Brandon Flowers in 'Human' by THE KILLERS, before moaning that listeners keep mishearing the lyrics. They probably just assumed that his use of the English language would be a bit better. Still a great tune though.
Best Road Metaphor
"This is the crossing at the main intersection". Simple but effective. THE SATURDAYS aren't quite up there with the greats but if they keep on producing tunes like 'Up' then it won't take long.
Attack On A Simpson Sister of the Year
PINK's 'So What' for "Somebody just took my table and gave it to Jessica Simps. Shit." Runner-up is JESSICA herself for trying to launch a country music career. Eeek.
Artist Most Likely To Kill You If You Don't Remember Her Name
Let's not get on the wrong side of KATIE of TING TINGS fame, shall we?
Ah, it's been a good year hasn't it?
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